Sick and Tired

When I was 25 years old, I got sick. Not just a cold or flu, or even a string of colds and flu.

Here I was, in the “prime of my life,” but I felt exhausted every day, was putting on pounds like never before, had migraine headaches several times a week, feeling depressed, and couldn’t stop slurping up caffeine and grabbing chocolate throughout the day.

Getting sick was one of the best things that ever happened to me, because it was a huge wake-up call.

I can’t stand not feeling well. And to feel that bad for weeks and months was just more than I could take. I went to a doctor who asked me about my symptoms. When I explained how I was feeling, I was given two prescriptions: one pain medication for my headaches and one anti-depressant.

This is not the answer, I thought. I never filled those prescriptions.

So, What Are You Eating?

Instead, I reached out and looked for a more holistically minded doctor. I knew [...]

Why Can’t Doctors Be More Like Dogs?

I was sitting in the doctor’s office – 20 minutes early for an appointment that would be a half-hour late, thumbing through a six-month old magazine, when I came across an article on the amazing things being done with service dogs.

As I read about how these fantastic animals are changing and saving lives, it occurred to me that these canine helpers have a lot to teach the medical establishment. At the time, I was not exactly a fan of said establishment. I was waiting to see a third dermatologist about a problem the first two dermatologists couldn’t agree that I had.

I had used a cosmetic scrub — very nice, it smelled like brown sugar. Then I used a sunblock. Then I developed a nasty rash. Then the glands on the side of my neck turned into big, red, itchy lumps. My throat burned, and I had trouble swallowing. Prescription: steroid cream.

After a notable lack of improvement, I went to dermatologist number two, who said the cream, for what I had, was [...]

Seven Steps to Getting Through a Bad Day with a Better Attitude

Have you ever had a totally awesome day followed by a totally crappy one? This happens to me all the time. One Friday night, I went to bed with a giant smile on my face, loving life and feeling completely present and grateful. On Saturday night, I sat pouting on the floor of the shower long after my shower had ended, writing “I hate my life” with my finger on the condensation of the shower wall.

Bad days are obviously inevitable, but when we compare them to our good days, they tend to feel even worse. For an explosively emotional person like me, suffering through the long hours of a bad day feels like trying to escape a house of mirrors, never quite finding an exit and getting frustrated with the seemingly never-ending obstacles. I guess I should add that I haven’t been inside a house of mirrors since going into one and smacking face first into a mirror, giving myself a bloody nose.

When I’m having a bad day, all I can [...]

I’m Getting Married.

I’m getting married.

Me, getting married.

We met four years ago on Match.com. (His sister met her husband on Match too. Wild!) Both of us were simply looking for someone to have dinner with, maybe go for a hike. We’d both been on Match for a couple of weeks and were not digging it – it felt like person shopping and made us feel a little icky – so we were about to sign off when Bob sent me an email:

“Wow, you live on Bainbridge? Nobody single lives on Bainbridge. Want to have coffee?”

We meet. I liked him but not that way so on the sidewalk afterward, I said, “I’d love to be friends but we certainly don’t have a romance here.”

Oh, Jen, so adorable when you make your definite predictions.

Of course, it turns out I was utterly wrong because within a few weeks we were inseparable, at least as inseparable as single parents of children can be.

It also turns out we both terrified of marrying again. We couched our fear – [...]

A Mother’s Grief

Grieving is a personal experience. Depending on who you are and the nature of your loss, your process of grieving will be different from another person’s. There is no “normal and expected” period of time for grieving. Some people take a year or more, particularly when their daily life has been radically changed by traumatic and unexpected loss.

On May 10, 2011, I lost my remarkable son Anthony to a tragic accident. He was 23 years old. I am writing this only two months after this horrifying experience.

Words cannot describe the immense pain felt by a parent who loses a child. As a bereaved parent, you realize that your life will never be the same … never. Your life has suddenly taken an unexpected course that appears and feels unknown, unsure and endless; that is called grief.

There are some wonderful support groups for parents. I attended my first one just three weeks after Anthony’s death. It’s called Compassionate Friends. The people here are experiencing the same type of [...]